Another Day....

Today's Mood: Aight, Tired, Blah

Good news, I got my check on Saturday. Bad news, it was still a little short but at least I was able to pay my bills.

I got so wasted on Sunday! I had a blast. I hung out with my friends, playing drinking games in a restaurant. We had a bunch of laughs, it was great. Then I meandered over to Berryhill. My former flame was there. We had a good time. I am an official fag hag now. The boys were buying me drink after drink after drink. Everytime I looked down my glass was being refilled.

I find it so interesting that my former flame "R" is so interested in trying to get back into my good graces. She is calling me, texting, all of that. I know she has not left her relationship and I vowed that after Baby, I would not think about dating someone in a relationship. I keep telling myself that but then I see those green, green eyes it it is so hard to take the high road. I dont understand how these great women get all partnered up with dummies who don't appreciate them. I mean they have the complete and total package. And their partners wont even fulfill the most basic of their requirements. Its so sad.

I don't want to always be the go-to girl when their lovers wont be lovers. Its not fair to me. Its not fair to them, and by providing an outlet for them is enabling. It allows them to avoid confronting their issues, thus creating a false sense of harmony.

Oh well, I have to be a big girl about it. I have to remember that its not all about me and my needs. I have to start doing the right thing.

Alright, speaking of doing the wrong thing...I decided to have a little company last night. I let "J" come over. I dont even know why I did. Oh yes I do-its because I was bored, lonely, and horny. We had an interesting evening to say the least. I realize that my body just will not let me screw around unless there is some emotion there. I mean, we played a lot but I couldnt cross over the line. She is sweet (and already showing signs of attachment...sigh) but Im just not sure I can go there with her.

Oh I got rid of Nursey. I told her I wasnt sure I could date a femme but I was kinda sorta willing to try. She went off the deep end. She kept ranting and raving about roleplaying this and that, and the other. I finally told her she was getting on my nerves and it wasnt that major. She got pissed and hasnt called back. LOL If shorting out the others was that easy I would have it made.

N,J,D,R,S...Oh man, I have an alphabet soup of women floating in my atmosphere right now and I really dont know what to do, who to turn to, anything. I know who I would like to be with but thats an impossibility. I just have to sit back and see who sticks and who doesnt.

Until tomorrow