Feeling Free-

Today's Mood: Curious and Weird

Today has been interesting, and yet not really. LOL. I woke up, worked out, ate healthy stuff all day. I had some great news-found out that one of the dominoes that needed to fall into place fell.

I enjoyed a peaceful day, hung out with my son. It was interesting because I spent time online with my friends. I got a lot of insight into where she is with her relationship. I found some potential classes that I have been interested in taking.

Whats weird and curious is that I have been encountering all of these interesting women lately. Not just potential lover interesting, but interesting in general. My new Bff is extremely interesting. She has so many diverse interests. She has been through a lot of things but has the most amazing capacity for empathy. My other bff is an amazing woman-running her own successful business while maintaining a healthy, down-home sensibility.

Then there are the others-the ex and the newbie. I still have residual feelings for my ex-I am forever going to be unsure if she was my soul mate. We will never know, but what we had between us is real and deep. Im not going back to where she lives, and she is content with her life.

The newbie is extremely interesting. I don't know if anything will ever come from it. Im hoping at this point for a lasting new friendship. She is a great person and full of love and compassion. She is the kind of person that you want to always have in your corner.

I remember something my partner said in the midst of one of her rants. She said I was better at long distance relationships because I don't open up fully. If Im maintaining one of those, then I can have all the space that I need, and still make the other person feel like they have all of my attention. Then I think about my last relationship and know thats not true. I was open with my last partner, but she was not judgemental of me. With this relationship, everything is analyzed and critiqued, and then brought back up whenever there is a problem. That has never happened before. But then, none of this stuff has ever happened to me before.

So today I was looking out the window, watching the birds fly in the sun-bright sky. It was lovely day, and I realized that my clipped wings are healing. Even my ex said that today-she could tell that my spirit was on the rise.

So curious and weird-Im very curious as to what the future holds. What is going to happen with the opportunities floating around me. Weird about being stuck in this gilded cage. Happy to be feeling the wind beneath my damaged wings.

KM