Mundane Monday

Today's Mood: Blah



This post is probably going to be an 'eh type of post. Im so bland today. I feel like I could just get in the bed and stay there. Not depressed, not...anything.



This weekend was so good. I went out with the girls and had wayyyy too much to drink. While I was out, I bumped into an old acquaintance. Someone that I always thought was sexy. Now we are both single, and sort of connected.



That sounds so crazy to put into words, especially since this entire blog is the result of my tumultuous relationship with my Baby. I don't really want to be with this new person, but it is interesting to actually have any level of....Oh I don't know....curiosity might be the best word.


At any rate, she is not trying to be in a relationship and neither am I. She is just getting out of something. My heart belongs to someone who belongs to someone else. Wow, that sounds like some L-word type of bullcrap.

Then, my friend told me that she and her wife really had an awesome, sexually charged weekend. I don't know how to feel about that. Im a little jealous, I guess. If Im fully honest, I can say that it does make me pause when they get into their groove. Really, what is the point in dealing with me if all of that is working so well?



The craziest thing is that I guess my feelings hit overload. Now I just feel blah and bland. Im not worried, sad, angry, anything. Im not feeling loving, sexual, just nothing. So weird. No emotions about her, none about the new person. Just nothing.



I told her last week that I needed something. I don't know what it is. We agreed to chill on the lovey mushy stuff. That left the friendship and sexual parts. We fully explored all of that last week. It was not enough for me. It was the first time I felt that I was a mistress. Ive never felt that before. When we took the love piece out of the puzzle, it really threw me off.



I guess the question is what do we need to do to harmonize the concert of our feelings. I have no earthly idea.



As far as the other girl, she is really nice but Im not sure about her either. But...I don't have to worry about her right now. We went out on one date. She is cute, sexy, smart. She also wants another date. I have not decided what to do yet. Again, I don't have to worry about all of that right now.



You can see my mood. Eh. Thats about it. I dont have the energy to try to work on any of the little situations that are spinning around my life.



I always put my girl first. I put her feelings first. Her needs. She never asked me to but I do. I need someone to worry about how I feel first. One day that will be the case, but for now, I just will sit here on 'Eh.