Sing A Rainbow

Today's Mood: Can a person be totally bored and totally excited at the same time? Hmmm



I went on my interview and it was very, very good. I like the company and the philosophy. The person that I met with was excited to see me, and practically offered me the job right there. He showed me "my" office, and introduced me around. I like it, but as I said, the money is not what I need it to be. It has potential. We will see. It is much less micro-managed than here.

So the title of this post is weird, huh? Its from an old song that we used to sing in honors chorus. It has been playing in my head all day. One of the lyrics is "listen with your heart, and sing everything you see". Thats what Im doing. I decided to listen to the beat of my heart and just go with it. Im going to speak my mind. Let it all hang out. LOL

Today, I told my Baby exactly how I feel about her. How much I love her. How much Im not pressed about anything that she does. I love everything about her, and Im happy with her efforts. We may have our differences, and we definitely have to live with her relationship. To have a second of her love is worth more than anything.

Yeah enough of all that. Im not feeling too mush right now. I feel...straightforward. I just want it out there that these are my feelings, I acknowledge them. The way I feel changes nothing that is our reality, but I see them, I will feel them until they change. Im not going to ignore them or act like they are something other than what they are. And Im bad enough to say that I know she loves me too, whether she wants to confront her feelings or not. So there.

A friend of mine told me that she is looking for a bad beyotch. No a bad-ride-or-die-beyotch. Im on my way to that point. I am so content to listen with my heart and just be.

Blah, blah. Tomorrow I will be trippin about something, so lets all bask in this rare moment of still un-medicated clarity.

Want to talk about "S"? Well we talked tonight. She is a nice lady. Her situation sux. She is being yo-yo'd by her ex. The girl knows she still loves her, so even though she is dating someone new, she still keeps S dangling. Its not right. Until S gets to the point where she is numb and healing, she will stay at this girls beck and call. I tried to tell her tonight that she needs to keep doing what she is doing-casually dating a few people and hanging with her friends. She needs a lot of healing time.

What else? I guess I can rant about my thieving azz kid. I don't know what its going to take to straighten him out, but Im not dealing with his mess anymore. I can't kill him, so I guess I just have to help him work through his issues. Its ok, as long as he maintains some level of respect, Im ok. He will either figure it out or get locked up.

So thats about it for today. I guess Im going to bed.